Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize