Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
