new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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