Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
