but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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