Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's the barista slut.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
