I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
