my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
