i can't believe i had my finger in that
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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