how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
