i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The power of my boobs compel you
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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