So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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