how can u be prego again
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
