the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
