you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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