Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
