I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize