you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
