If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
