god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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