Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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