i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
