Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
