You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will be naked everywhere
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
