Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
