Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Randomize