goodnight i made you a song goodbye
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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