saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
