Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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