I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize