A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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