Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Even my vagina gasped.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
