Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
