i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
