He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
