and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
