I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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