I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
