idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
