you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
