It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you had me at cake vodka
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
