If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
