That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
