I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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