Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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