So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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