I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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