I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
