She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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