exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
