its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize