i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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