listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
