New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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