in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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