my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
