I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
