Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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